Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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