John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
How does one acquire holy water?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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