Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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