It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize