Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Let's get the cat blown out
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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