I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize