Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You ruined the universe
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize