She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize