Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
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The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
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He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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