my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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