from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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