Define "chronic" masturbator.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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