I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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