Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it because I queefed?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
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