You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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