she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize