pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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