my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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