just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize