Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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