Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
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laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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