Kiss
Puke
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Found the puke drawer
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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