did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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