You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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