I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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