wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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