Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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