the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize