he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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