Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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