She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just googled if crying burns calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize