i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize