Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
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You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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