He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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