i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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