Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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