I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize