I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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