He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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