i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
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Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
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I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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