Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
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You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
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Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
how does that bad decision feel?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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