**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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