HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize