my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Quick, to the slutcave!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize