There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Less talking, more tequila
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize