So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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