Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As shirtless as possible
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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