She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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