I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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