a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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